QUALIFICATIONS
Some of my critics will say
I'm not "qualified" to be mayor, but that's ridiculous on every level
you can think of.
EX:
Taxpayers want the
*MOST INTELLIGENT
*MOST HONEST
*MOST SELF-DISCIPLINED
person for the job.
NOT the OLDEST, the RICHEST, and most certainly NOT the person who has been a
politician the LONGEST.
EX:
Our extremely
"qualified" Presidents and Congressmen in Washington D.C. turned
America from the largest LENDER of money on earth into the largest DEBTOR…
creating a $7,000,000,000,000 DEBT------the
most revolutionary mismanagement OF ALL TIME!
(Look at that number
again: $7,000,000,000,000 TRILLION OF
YOUR TAXDOLLARS IN DEBT!)
The interest payments ALONE
are $300,000,000,000 [billion!!]. . .
…A YEAR!
LOOK AT THAT AGAIN:
the interest
payments on the debt by every useless politician of the last 200 years
is 300 BILLION TAX DOLLARS A YEAR!
THAT’S JUST THE I-N-T-E-R-E-S-T
PAYMENTS!
Do you have any idea how many schools we could build with that disappearing
$300,000,000,000 [billion!!] EVERY 12
MONTHS???
Every politician in America should be in jail!
This system is INSANE
and Republican and Democrat politicians alike have robbed you blinder than
anyone in the history of mankind! They rob you blind every day and that
unfathomable amount of missing cash goes out of the US economy and INTO the
pockets of FOREIGN countries (who were kind enough to lend us trillions)!
Good
JOB, Mr. Bush! And your lying media keeps insisting that this guy is a
“conservative”!! (He’s the biggest “Liberal” spender in the planet’s history!)
We MUST stop these lunatics.
I’m not just talking about Bush, either. Every politician in history was a
madman and a crook, from Bill Clinton [who
violated the Constitution with his attacks on free speech via that stupid
“Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy or his Internet Decency bill, which was shot down
in the courts for being so illegal] to Ronald “Spend 10 Million Tax Dollars
on my funeral please” Reagan. (That’s some “reform”, Ronnie.)
NEVER FORGET:
history’s biggest
crooks and psychos and murderers have all been your Chancellor Hitlers, NOT
your Charlie Mansons.
Stalin, Pol Pot,
Hussein, Pinochet, Bush, Kissinger, and
the rest of them were ALL GOVERNMENT
LEADERS AND POLITICIANS!
This
isn’t coincidence, ladies and gentlemen.
Everyone on Earth knows that GOVERNMENT is the greatest threat to life,
liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, whether you live in China or you live
in America or Africa or Haiti or
England.
And
I am the ONLY candidate with pragmatic reforms to stop all this robbery, and
stop it ASAP. (Freddy Bloomberg and Gifford C. Virginia Fields are all
government HACKS who did nothing to fix our corrupt government. They just want
their piece of the pie.)
HERE’S ANOTHER SCARY THOUGHT:
a lot of those
trillions in debt payments to cover the annual INTEREST rate on our National
Debt go into the pockets of …Clinton and Bush’s friends, who run America’s financial institutions!
I don’t believe
almost anyone in Government cares at all about wasting our taxdollars. (And I’m
the ONLY candidate who promises to OUTLAW any and all govt waste, which is one
of the reasons I’m running.) (Freddy
Bloomberg and Gifford Weiner promise to NOT outlaw waste of your taxdollars,
which is why the media tells you they are good candidates but I’m not even A
candidate!)
The record is clear
and irrefutable:
We’ve tried trusting
the “Qualified” politicians who were all endorsed by The MEDIA---who also
deemed them “Qualified”---and where has that gotten us?
America is in worse shape today than at any time in history!
They
spent $7,000,000,000,000 on all kinds of waste and stuck us with the bill!
And some people wonder why I’m so angry?
Sheesh.
IF WE CLEANED UP all
this government debt, (and this
unambitious goal excludes 90% of govt
waste!!) we could cut your taxes by 75% for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!
Got that?
If we just solved ONE problem in
government----unbalanced budgets----then you’d be 7 TRILLION DOLLARS RICHER!!!
You could all have a
beautiful home with a beautiful swimming pool!
You could work 20
hours a week and enjoy life the rest of the time.
You wouldn’t all have to struggle to pay your insane bills or just
survive.
(Don’t forget that
there’s a SURCHARGE tax on your phone bill that solely goes to paying Madison
Square Garden’s electricity bill!) (And what did Rudy Dinkins-Bloomberg do
about this? They didn’t give a damn that
you were funding corporate welfare!) (And ask Freddy Bloomberg what he’s
going to do about most corporate welfare. I’m the ONLY candidate with a
practical plan to fight and end this ridiculous ripoff of our hard-earned money
once and for all.)
THESE CROOKS MUST BE STOPPED, and there’s only ONE candidate who promises
to fight for you.
IF YOU WANT THE KIND
OF "EXPERIENCE" AND THE KINDS OF "QUALIFICATIONS" YOU’VE
GOTTEN OVER THE LAST 50 YEARS, THEN PLEASE VOTE FOR MY OPPONENTS, who have a
long track record of wasting money, and who promise to continue to steal your
money. (Ask any of the other candidates
if they’ll outlaw all fiscal waste by govt.)
If you’re happy with
the way things are, Freddy Bloomberg is your dream candidate.
But I don’t think
anybody really wants to vote for these crooks.
NOTE:
Gifford Miller
has been working in govt most of his life, and he has consistently failed you
on a zillion issues.
C. Virginia Fields
has spent most of her life in govt, and how much better did she make your life?
Freddy Ferrer
has spent most of his life in govt, and how much better did he make your life?
Anthony Weiner has spent most of
his life in govt, and how much better did he make your life?
Did your taxes get
LOWER or HIGHER with these “qualified” politicians fighting for you?
Higher.
Did your bills and expenses get LOWER or HIGHER while these robots were “representing” you??
Higher.
Are your streets
clean (or are they clogged in mountains of garbage bags)?
Nope.
Is the MTA more accountable now?
Nope.
Did govt debt SHRINK
or GROW?
It ballooned at superhuman speed!
Shall
I go on?
Because I can cite literally hundreds of thousands of similar points that prove
without a doubt that these candidates GUARANTEE
FAILURE.
Please don’t fall for the media’s lies and distortions. They want a robot like Freddy Bloomberg for mayor, because
they promise to protect the corruption of Big Business, Big Govt, and Big
Media, and our crooked media cannot thrive unless you elect Republicrat Robots.
(EX: Rudy Giuliani gave
billionaire Rupert Murdoch $800,000,000 [million!!]
of YOUR TAXDOLLARS just for the hell of it!) (They weren’t even threatening to
move to Jersey!) [Rudy did this because
he’s been planning to run for president since he was a teenager---he’s admitted
this many times---and the BEST way to do this is to win over all the media
moguls who shape and manipulate all
election coverage to make sure you get to only choose Awful Candidate A, and
Awful Candidate B. Rudy’s plan was very simple: he took tens of BILLIONS of
your taxdollars---away from the MTA (causing the last 4 subway fare hikes
singlehandedly)---away from Senior Citizens and the Handicapped (Rudy simply
violated Federal Handicapped laws and no one stood up to the bully)---away from
paying off NYC’s astronomical debt (instead, increasing it nearly more than the
prior 106 mayors of NYC, COMBINED!!)… and the media kept all this (and more)
SECRET in exchange for… BILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN CASH (stolen from your wallet)!
These scams have been going on for 300 years and I’m the ONLY candidate who
will even TALK about it, besides promising to stop it.]
SOME
QUALIFICATIONS ABOUT ME:
FACT:
I am the CHEAPEST BASTARD you will ever meet, and the fact that I've lived in Manhattan for 14
years---in a market-rate
apartment!---yet I’ve never earned over $11,000---PROVES I'm a budgeting GENIUS.
(And… my sleazy
landlord, disbarred Lawyer Paul Stallings, has raised my rent over 100% in that
time!)
That alone makes it
pretty clear how skilled I am with money, as most people I know can’t live in
Manhattan earning $30,000 a year!
And guess what my credit card bill is.
Yup.
Zero.
Because
I don’t buy things on credit, because I don’t believe in paying interest
payments (which end up costing you exponentially more).
If you want a mayor
who pays $400 for a pair of underwear then you lucked out, because you’ve already got him, and you can
easily see why he wastes so much taxmoney: he knows nothing
about being FRUGAL.
FACT:
Lord Bloomberg spent
more money to purchase his mayoralty than ANY OTHER HUMAN IN MANKIND’S ENTIRE
HISTORY. ($75,000,000 [million!].)
FACT:
you could not be WORSE with money than Mike Bloomberg.
WASTING money is his entire M.O.!
FACT:
Mike
Bloomberg tried to sell the most valuable piece of Real Estate ON
EARTH----waterfront property in midtown Manhattan!!!---for the lowest amount he
could get!
FACT:
You couldn’t be a worse Mayor than TaxHike Mike IF YOU
TRIED!
FACT:
TaxHike Mike pays his
lazy cronies in City Hall FIVE TIMES MORE than he pays cops and teachers!
FACT:
Professional Liar ED SKYLER is paid about $85 AN HOUR
($176,000 a year!) for a super-easy job that would normally pay about $16 an
hour!! (I can get someone to do the job---better---for $10, and if you doubt
me, ask Mike ----mike@cityhall.nyc.gov---if
he will challenge me to prove this. I will personally go to City Hall and
demonstrate MYSELF how easy Skyler’s cushy job is (while beat cops stand out in
the cold winter rain for $34,000 a year???).
Mike Bloomberg is a psychopath who isn’t qualified to be a
Borough President!
But the media refuses
to tell you the truth. (Because everyone wants to be friends with a
billionaire.)
IF YOU WANT FOUR MORE YEARS OF THIS KIND OF “EXPERIENCE” AND
“QUALIFICATIONS”---and the
media says you do, with their totally fake POLLS---THEN VOTE FOR FREDDY BLOOMBERG. (Or Gifford Weiner, because they all
refuse to be fiscally prudent in any way, because it’s not THEIR money, it’s
YOURS!)
BUT IF YOU WANT A MAYOR WHO WILL NOT ONLY NOT WASTE A PENNY OF YOUR CASH, but will actually
make it ILLEGAL for politicians to waste a penny of your cash…
…THEN VOTE FOR ME, CXB.
THE LIES YOU’VE BEEN
TOLD YOUR WHOLE LIFE BY THE GOVERNMENT AND THE MEDIA are nothing but scams, and
so please don’t be fooled into thinking “experience” makes a candidate great.
It’s another big fat lie.
HEY, I got on the
ballot in 2001 (on the Green Party ballot) spending less than $5.
It cost Mike Bloomberg over $1,000,000 to accomplish the same thing!
GAME OVER.
No one can say I’m
not the smartest, most efficient, most mature, most fiscally brilliant
candidate running.
(Lucky
for the Media, it’s not a crime to lie to you.)
(Oh wait---YES IT IS. Call 911 or 311
or Eliot Spitzer and see if they’ll enforce the laws.)
(Hint:
they WON’T.)
MORE POINTS ABOUT MY
QUALIFICATIONS:
EX:
Few people
realize that the Executive Branch of our govt is NOT filled with great thinkers.
The Mayor, the Governor, and the President
are all essentially MASCOTS, and are
in fact just the spokesperson for an expensive army of advisors who make all
the decisions.
Our
current President is proof of this: he's an idiot puppet who makes no decisions---his cabinet
does. He just listens to them and does what they say is best. (Why do you
REALLY think Bush only agreed to meet with the 9/11 Commission if he could have
Dick Cheney hold his hand?? A smart, honest man wouldn’t be afraid to have
recording devices rolling, or answer ANY questions all by his widdle self.)
Even
Bill Clinton wasn't a leader or great thinker---he was a charismatic fellow who
did his homework so he'd appear smarter than he really was.
MY OPPONENTS IN THIS
MAYOR'S RACE are all surrounded by "experts" and
"advisors", hired at great expense---MUCH of it your
taxmoney!!!----to give them ideas about everything from the homeless to the
economy.
And ANYBODY COULD DO THAT.
(Heck, these guys
even hire people who tell them how to speak, look, act, and run their
campaigns! And they use your taxmoney to hire fancy speechwriters so they can
scam you further!) (NOTE that I’m the ONLY candidate who promises to outlaw
speechwriters for politicians.)
So forget this illusion that these men are smarter than you
are.
Because they aren’t.
YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
could do a much better job of running this government, and I’m not joking in
the slightest.
Haven’t you ever
wondered why politicians are always lawyers and businessmen, lawyers and businessmen?
It’s like there are no REAL HUMANS in
government!
(My
apologies to the few good lawyers out there.)
Where are the smart carpenters, writers, architects, and so
on??
I think we’ve had
enough of these lawyers and businessmen (who are clearly only in
government for their own self-interest). (See
Mayor Clint Eastwood and Mayor Sonny Bono, both of whom admitted they ran for
the POWER, so they could change laws to help their businesses, rather than the taxpayers!!)
That said, I got NONE of my ideas from expensive
advisors, b/c I've personally tested most city agencies and they failed just
about every test. And I've always been a one-man think tank.
NYC doesn't have a shortage of good ideas.
It has a shortage of politicians who aren't intellectually and physically lazy.
And
it has a surplus of politicians with “normal” “qualifications”, from Pataki to
Fraudulent Freddy.
How’s that working out so far?
MORE LEVELS IN WHICH “QUALIFICATIONS” ARE A SCAM:
EX:
I'm not asking voters to let me fly a 747 with no
experience.
I'm asking them to
let me DIRECT which way the plane goes, and you don't need a pilot's license to
say "hey guys, we are headed into
the side of a mountain---maybe you might want to TURN this plane and avoid
crashing."
The President, the Governor, and the Mayor do not fly the plane.
They hire the guys to
fly it and direct which direction it will go in.
Stop believing the
lie that you should only vote for Politics As Usual.
EX:
IF YOU VOTE FOR ME,
YOU WILL NOT BE PUTTING ME IN CHARGE.
YOU WILL BE PUTTING YOURSELVES
IN CHARGE.
I will simply be your
slave in City Hall, doing whatever you tell me to do, while you sit back and
enjoy life.
My campaign slogan
should be “VOTE CXB: YOUR WISH IS HIS COMMAND”. (I’d consider carving it
into headstones at the entrance to City Hall so these crooked “representatives”
can’t avoid it.)
Grab a jug of coffee.
I’m not done yet.
(I’m not superficial
and vague, like Freddy Bloomberg is.)
BY MOST CRITERIA, I AM THE MOST QUALIFIED CANDIDATE RUNNING FOR MAYOR.
EX:
Rudy
Dinkins-Bloomberg spent most of his time on the job doing PHOTO OPS, traveling
around town in his expensive gas-guzzling SUV (paid for by YOU,
thankyouverymuch) to do P.R. stunts for the cameras, like cutting ribbons at
construction sites and such. (Ditto the President. Take a look at these clowns’
schedules if you doubt me.)
The last 108 Mayors of NYC did very little actual work.
(Lord Bloomberg
doesn’t even work weekends, because going to the Bahamas or Bermuda is more
important to him than helping to fix the millions of problems we taxpayers face
each day!) (This is WHY this crook had to spend 75 million bucks to Mark
Green’s 16 million bucks to win, and he still only won by 35,000 votes thanks
to 9/11 and Rudy Giuliani’s endorsement!)
I, on the other hand,
am a workaholic and my friends AND enemies can attest that I’m the hardest
working person they’ve ever seen or heard of.
And I’m the ONLY candidate who promises to not march in ANY parades (which all other politicians do to promote themselves)
and not do a single ribbon cutting ceremony. This town is too screwed up to be
wasting time on stupid nonsense like this.
DUH:
most politicians
don’t want to do any work, and they don’t have
to!
There’s
no law that says Bloomberg has to fix a single problem in this town!
(That’s another of my
100 INNOVATIONS: I’m going to
create a law that forces government to fix
problems or else none of the
politicians get paid!)
EX:
How about this “qualification”:
I’m the ONLY candidate who has been regularly called
“brilliant” by his ENEMIES!
Even Bloomberg’s fans NEVER call him
“intelligent”!
(Listen to him speak!
He’s not even qualified to be a Borough President!)
Heck, in 2001, after I destroyed all the other candidates (Ferrer, Mark Green,
Hevesi, et al----Lord Bloomberg was the ONLY one too chicken to show up) at the
N.O.W. debate, one of my opponent’s campaign managers walked over
to me and said I was “brilliant’!
Heck, I was the ONLY candidate in 2001 whose opponent praised him as the
“smartest of all candidates”! (Bernie
Goetz, running on the Independence line (?) appeared in a number of forums with
all the other candidates and he repeatedly said I was the smartest of everyone!
When was the last time you saw that in a debate??)
Even Freddy Bloomberg believes I’m the SMARTEST candidate.
ASK them if they’ll debate me, and you’ll see them refuse.
(WHY aren’t they
confident that they know more about govt than I do and that they’re better
candidates? WHY can’t they debate me and
make mincemeat out of me? Because they both know they’re idiots with no
compelling solutions to ANY of NYC’s zillion problems.) (And they’re all 20
years OLDER than I am! But they’re still afraid to debate me on the issues!)
NOTE that I put links
on my website to their websites, because I want you to do some comparative shopping,
while they refuse to do the same.
WHY wouldn’t they want you to compare my vision with theirs’?
If you compare little
ol’ “unqualified” me to them, won’t THEY look greater by comparison?
Well, they don’t think so!
(Finally, something
we all agree on!)
I believe that, if you compare MY website and MY platform
with any of my opponents’, you’ll
clearly see how superior I am, in all regards. Certainly my 100
INNOVATIONS FOR NYC stand up on their own, but when put against Freddy
Bloomberg’s NON-EXISTENT platform,
with its vague, feel-good baloney and typical politician crap, voters like me
even more!
And Freddy Bloomberg’s fear of my campaign also confirms that they think I’m
superior to them. Otherwise, they’ll debate me and humilate me, right?
Right?
Ask them WHY they’re
afraid to debate me in public:
(I bet they won’t
even reply to you because they think you are an ant.)
More QUALIFICATIONS…
I’ve won all kinds of awards for my many many different skills, from music
composition to cartooning to writing to filmmaking.
The ONLY reason I’m
wasting my time running for mayor is because I’m a LOT smarter than the other
candidates and I think we need SMARTER candidates. (Even if I don’t win this
election, I intend to raise the bar, so
an idiot can never win ever again.)
(We need to raise the
standards for candidates a thousand times higher than it is today.)
I’d MUCH RATHER be touring
the world making my fantastic music or working on my architectural projects
or all the films and other projects I’m behind on---stuff that I enjoy doing,
and that helps society progress in a multitude of ways. (Most of my art and
music is socio-political in nature, because my entire life I’ve been fighting
the corrupt Goliaths who ruined America.)
But if I don’t fix NYC, who will?
Anthony
Weiner???
(He also thinks I’m
twice as smart as he is. Ask him if he’ll debate me and watch him decline,
because he knows I’ll make him look like a fool.)
Sorry if you think I sound arrogant.
I’m simply FED UP
with all the lies.
MORE QUALIFICATIONS…
EX:
I
AM BY FAR THE MOST HONEST OF ALL THE CANDIDATES.
My honesty is so
pervasive that it’s almost like I have some disease. Even my own mother used to
insult me as a boy for not kissing ass and for being too honest. Even my
crooked Landlord, Paul Stallings,
called me “too honest” once, when I put unflattering information about myself
in the lease application!
As you may have
noticed, I’m a very headstrong person, and I’ve hated dishonesty for as long as
I can remember. (Even white lies annoyed me as a child. I loathed big family
functions where everyone said “nice to
meet you” and such, because I wasn’t sincerely
happy to meet these strangers. Many people can testify that I’ve always been
controversial, because I love to speak my mind, and I don’t really care about
the consequences.)
Classmates in
elementary school can tell you lots of stories about how I was a little hell
raiser, attacking bullshit wherever I saw it. I would freak out when I saw
dishonesty.
One of my favorite
examples is from Gym Class, where the athletic teachers always favored the
athletic students, but I wasn’t as obsessed with these competitions as they
were. On several occasions, when a “jock” would cheat during some game (and the
teacher would ALWAYS look the other way) I would scream bloody murder and shut
the whole game down.
“But it’s just a GAME” they’d all
insist, to which I’d reply “well then, if
it’s only a ‘game’, why CHEAT?”.
I’ve
never understood cheating, because I’ve never cared about what other people
think of me. If I cheat, then I didn’t really WIN, and I’d always
know that I failed and had to FAKE it.
Cheating is for losers and failures and it’s something I’ve never been
interested in.
Likewise, lying
always seemed to me to be an ADMISSION that a person was a coward (afraid to
express how they REALLY feel) and a moron (b/c lying is intellectually lazy).
It also probably
helped that my mother (who raised me) was fanatically
dishonest and that angered me so much that at the age of 10, I swore to
myself that I would NEVER LIE AGAIN.
And I haven’t, and thousands of people can back up that I’m annoyingly honest.
I don’t keep secrets for friends, and many of my bosses got pissed off that I
would refuse to say “sorry, he’s away
from his desk---can I take a message?” when he was sitting right there.
(I’d say “he wants me to tell you that
he’s not here”, and mock their cowardly dishonesty. And then I’d get in
trouble.)
I think we need MORE
HONESTY in this world, not less.
THIS IS WHY I AM THE
ONLY CANDIDATE WHO CAN BOLDLY PROMISE (guaranteed in writing) THAT I WILL
OUTLAW ANY DECEPTIVE STATEMENTS I MAKE TO THE TAXPAYERS.
WHY didn’t Freddy
Bloomberg offer to outlaw lies by politicians in 2001?
WHY was I the only
candidate in that race who made this simple promise?
DUH: because all the
others are stupid liars who cannot meet such a high standard.
If you doubt me, then ASK Freddy Bloomberg IF THEY WILL OUTLAW LYING BY
THEMSELVES AND THEIR STAFF.
Ask them!
They’ll refuse!
Any guesses why?
I can go on in
greater detail if you’d like, but you can probably tell from my 100 INNOVATIONS
FOR NYC that I’m a fanatic about honesty and accuracy. (EX: I’m going to outlaw deceptive statements by journalists, and I AM
A JOURNALIST!)
This is also why I am
the ONLY candidate who promises to outlaw all SECRETS by government. Lord
Bloomberg, and the Media, on the other hand, believe he should be allowed to
sell NYC to Snapple quietly in the dark of night. Bloomberg believes he should
be able to secretly cut deals for a Jets stadium without getting your
permission.
I don’t.
(The
other candidates all pretend they oppose the secret backroom deals for the Jets
Stadium, yet they are silent about the OTHER 50,000 secret deals they would
allow if you elect them.)
(EX: the entire media gave Ferrer credit for saying “Let’s put the Stadium on a referendum and
ask the TAXPAYERS what they think”---a week after they all saw me say the
same thing in a cover story in NYPress! But Freddy is LYING, because he doesn’t
believe in ballot referendums on Yankee Stadium (as Freddy supports tearing
down the House That Ruth Built, but voters disagree with him) or his salary (as
all voters disagreed with his absurd 135K salary as Bronx Borough President),
or his chauffeured cars at taxpayers expense (as all voters disagreed with him)
or his current plans to make YOU pay his rent in Gracie Mansion (b/c ALL voters
disagree with him). FERRER IS A MASSIVE
LIAR, and if you doubt me, ask him about these things.)
(I’ve
got plenty more of them if you’ve got an extra week.)
I DON’T LIKE SECRETS,
and certainly government---doing the PUBLIC’s business---cannot and shall not
be allowed to keep ANY secrets from
the taxpayers. And only ONE candidate will even talk about this issue.
I AM THE ONLY HONEST CANDIDATE RUNNING, and I’ll tell you everything from how many times I’ve done
drugs (for example, I’ve tried cocaine twice but it didn’t do much for me---I’m
already arrogant and I talk very fast) to how many women I’ve had sex with.
(9.5)
(How’s this for a
cheesy slogan: “CXB – He puts the
‘candid’ in candidate”?)
(Ouch!)
Want to know my worst
vices?
I’m too political,
(meaning I annoy people around me with my obsession with the miserable state of
the city and world) and I’m too honest.
(All my friends get
mad at me on a regular basis because I may be too insensitive.) (I’m one of
those people who will tell you that that shirt looks terrible on you, because
I’d want someone to tell me if I have food in my teeth.)
I will also gladly tell you that I break the law every day of my life (or at
least try to), by doing things such as jaywalking,
because I, like most people, prefer LOGIC to the arbitrary and unreasonable
whims of The Law. (That’s why I created the Logic Defense law.)
If you want
more politicians who LIE, vote Freddy Bloomberg.
Otherwise, give me 4
years to fix City Hall and try an honest mayor for once in your lives.
MORE QUALIFICATIONS…
I HAVE FAR GREATER LIFE EXPERIENCE THAN THE OTHER
CANDIDATES.
ONE:
I’ve
made a living doing carpentry, welding, masonry, graphic art, industrial painting,
talent booking, bar managering, metal fab, food delivery, and as a truck driver,
deliveryman, construction-site foreman, census taker, cook, waiter, dishwasher,
house manager, cartoonist, voice-over artist, musician, and a hundred other
skills and jobs both white collar and blue collar. My first skill as a teenager
was doing auto body repair! (Heck---I starred in a Snapple commercial that
only aired in Israel! How’s that for diverse life experience?)
I never liked staying
in the same field. I was more interested in increasing my knowledge than
increasing my salary by staying in the same career field. I’m one of those
restless people who wants to learn everything. (For example, as a musician, I’m
a very skilled and innovative pianist,
guitarist, fretless bassist, drummer, singer, producer, and more. And I
compose all different kinds of music, from avant garde classical to innovative
country and western to experimental hip hop to jazzy love songs.)
And I loved EVERY job
I ever had (except for telemarketing, which I was terrible at, because I’m too
honest and care more about the customer than the hard sell or my job security).
I had a lot of BOSSES
I didn’t like, and I had a lot of bosses who didn’t like me (but the customers always loved me) and I prefer blue
collar work to working in an office because I like to keep moving. (Desk jobs
often make me sleepy.)
It’s relevant for me
to tell you that many of my bosses didn’t like me because my attitude has
always been “you are NOT my boss; the CUSTOMER is my boss and the customer is YOUR
BOSS”.
(We’ve known for
10,000 years that power corrupts, and we’ve all seen too many bosses corrupted
by ego and authority.)
I’ve always been the
worker who stands up to the boss and tells him how badly they’re treating the
workers and/or the customers, and I’m actually proud to say that I’ve been
fired from almost every job I’ve held----because I’ve never been fired for
doing a bad job or showing up late or such. I’ve only been fired---pardon my
french---because I refuse to tolerate bullshit.
And
that’s one of the things that makes me the most qualified of all the candidates
running for mayor.
INTERESTING FACT:
My record, is being
fired FROM THE SAME JOB three times.
Which alone, pretty
much proves how bogus each firing was.
(Three different managers (!!) fired me at Live Bait, a restaurant
on 23rd street. The second one hired me back because he knew I was
an excellent worker who was fired for bogus reasons. But then he ended up
firing me because they refused to fix problems in the place and I’m a natural
problem solver. The final manager fired me because he was incompetent and I
challenged his mistreatment of the customers.)
(EX: some idiot had fixed the dining tables with screws that were
too long and poked out of the TOP of the table, endangering customers! For
weeks I complained but he didn’t care and so I chewed him out in front of the
staff and he fired me.)
But I digress.
THE MORAL OF THIS is
that I’ve worked all over the place with all kinds of people in the REAL world.
(By contrast, Freddy Bloomberg knows almost nothing about the REAL world or the
struggles of the working class, as he’s never EXPERIENCED most of real
life.)
TWO:
I’m also better
qualified than the other candidates because I’ve EXPERIENCED most of the city’s
broken agencies from INSIDE.
(This is also what
makes me a better journalist than most, because my “source” is my eyeballs.)
(FYI: most news reports are second-hand
at best, meaning they aren’t that reliable.)
The only thing Lord Bloomberg knows about how well city government works is
what his lackeys tell him.
(And they invariably
say, “Your heinous, er, highness… under
thine leadership, City Hall is doing everything exceptionally well!”)
I’ve dealt with
everyone from the state’s phony “Crime Victims Board” (after being brutally
assaulted and almost murdered in 1991) and NYC’s phony “Civilian Complaint
Review Board”, phony “Internal Affairs”, phony “Department of Investigation”,
to the nightmare that is Housing Court, Small Claims Court, Criminal court (as
both a “criminal” and a victim), Appellate Court, State Supreme Court, and on
and on and on. (I could list another 400 if you have all day.)
And what I experienced from these PUBLIC SERVANTS is exactly
what most American taxpayers experience when they deal with our government each and every day:
massive corruption, indifference, rudeness, laziness, and so
on.
(I’ve even worked for the government
on several occasions, most recently in 2000 as a Census Worker, where the pay
was great----$18 an hour to be your own boss---and the ability to abuse the pay
schedule was tremendous. There was almost no oversight.) (That’s another reason
being so honest has hurt me.)
(“No Oversight”
should be Freddy Bloomberg’s campaign slogan.)
(We worked out of 6
WTC and even then I complained that the “security” measures were all fake and
only inconvenienced GOOD people. No one listened to me. They knew the security
in the WTC was just fine and dandy.) (How’d that
work out, guys?)
EVEN
IF I WAS A DROOLING IDIOT, my 100
INNOVATIONS are failproof and superior to the other candidates COMBINED.
And
since I'll be checking with taxpayers before we enact each one, you and your
neighbors will have input, which is a better way to do it than the current
design (which all my opponents support).
I
can go on and on, if you’d like, but do you really want to read 50,000 more
words? (Remember, I’m not getting paid a cent to spend all this time running
for mayor.)
BOTTOM
LINE:
If you are as fed up as I am, and want to try the smartest and most honest candidate,
who promises (guaranteed in writing!) to serve you or else he doesn’t get paid,
then give me 4 years to see how much I can fix City Hall.
Otherwise, vote Freddy Bloomberg or Gifford Weiner and maybe he’ll take on the
MTA and Con Ed for you, right?
Just like they did
for you over the last decade.
Right?